The New Normal
This will be my second Christmas without my mom. Having no mom is my new normal. I’m adjusting, but it isn’t the same. Most of the worst of my grief seems to be behind me (other than the stabbing, out-of-the-blue stuff that does come occasionally). So, I’m noticing how things are different, and I’m trying to be kind to myself.
One way I’m doing that is by lessening the self-imposed ‘have to’s’. There are many Christmassy things I still want to do, bake cookies, decorate, etc. But there are others I don’t. It’s all in my head really. So I’m doing what I like! It feels like a kindness.
I’m sewing less, and knitting by the fire more. That’s soothing and cozy. Speaking of suddenly doing what she wants – my dog D’Arcy, whom we’ve had for over 12 years has suddenly taken on a whole new persona. She has stopped complying with the house rules quite a lot! Here she is, completely unauthorized on my bed! This really never would have happened before. We rescued her at age 3 to 5 years (yes, she really is that old), and she’s been the most obedient dog ever – uh… until now. I’m thinking this is the dog equivalent of the Red Hat society!